What do you need church shoes for? Jesus wore sandals.

Well, maybe if he'd had better arch support, they wouldn't have caught him.

Wednesday, August 13, 2008

Sore loser

Dear World,

Like many of you, I enjoy watching countless hours of Olympic coverage. Who knew rowing could be so boring? Um, only everybody. Anyway much has been said of how China might end the Olympics with more overall medals than the U.S.A. I've become fixed tracking the medal count.

Although I want the U.S.A. to kick ass in every event (a medal sweep in fencing - who knew?), if we can't be first, I'll root for any country other than China. Hell, I'll even cheer for the nasty French team if necessary.

I've tried putting the gris-gris on the Chinese gymnastics team, but they must have ancient Chinese secret to counteract it. Or the will of a billion Chinese people demanding perfection is stronger than some southern voodoo.

Also, I'd like to let the swim commentator, Rowdy Gains, know I don't care if any swim match is a close contest. I like a good old fashion ass thumping. Winning big is what America is all about.
Rowdy, you need to stop jinxing our competitors. Want the American favorite in x swim meet to lose, say something like, he hasn't lost this race in over six years of international competition! Shut up Rowdy. Maybe throw this little fact out after he has won the race.

I hold you personally accountable for all swim losses in this Olympics.

Love,
Whitey

ramblings by Whitey on 10:32 PM
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Tuesday, August 12, 2008

Beat Down

Dear World,

I got clocked in the head twice tonight during karate. Righty caught me with a punch in the right eye and Mario kicked the left side of my face. Everyone was wearing foam gear so it wasn't as bad as it could have been, but my face will probably be a bruised puff ball tomorrow.

Love,
Whitey

ramblings by Whitey on 9:33 PM
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Monday, August 11, 2008

Run, Whitey, Run

Dear World,

Because the training blues have hit hard since my last race, I've decided to change my routine by increasing the workload. Attack the day is my new motto, so here's how I've attacked the days:

Thursday: 20 continuous swim laps
Friday: 3 miles on the indoor track at lunch
Saturday: 15 miles of hilly road work
Today: 3.5 miles of running at lunch

I feel it's absolutely necessary to mention at lunch because it's not easy. Besides squeezing your entire workout into less than an hour, you've got to de-funkify yourself before returning to work. May I suggest a stash of baby wipes, baby powder and perfumed lotion.

Perhaps my motto should be attack the personal hygiene.

Love,
Whitey

ramblings by Whitey on 9:12 PM
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Sunday, August 10, 2008

Yeah

Dear World,

Sigh.

Love, Whitey

ramblings by Whitey on 8:04 PM
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