What do you need church shoes for? Jesus wore sandals.
Well, maybe if he'd had better arch support, they wouldn't have caught him.
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02 October
Wholly Moses!
I had a very strange encounter yesterday afternoon while washing my car. Technically it was after I had finished washing my car. It's important to note that I was finished with the car. Read on...
The Mini is clean and dry. I'm working on removing the brake dust from the rims when I hear, "Ah come on now, don't do that."
I look up to see an old man walking an old Golden Lab across the street. He continues to fuss at the dog as it does whatever it was doing. He carries a complete conversation with the dog for several minutes before I look up to see the dog headed my way.
Water has puddled at the end of my driveway, making a small concrete pond about 4 inches deep. The dog walks over and starts drinking from the puddle. The old man begins to chastise the dog because who knows where that water has been. Hey buddy, it's been on my car and on the ground. Then the dogs flops down into the water.
"Moses! I know you're hot and tired but really, where has that water been?" What is his obsession with the water? And he's a dog. Ok, so now I'm staring at the old man and Moses, who is really adorable - the dog not the man. Big mistake. I've now made eye contact with the old man who strikes up a conversation. Sigh.
"I guess I really can't fault a new car owner for washing their car."
You can fault me for anything you old coot.
I just smile hoping he'll leave if I don't acknowledge him, but my plan doesn't work. He's starts yapping non-stop about the car asking multiple questions. So I relent and make small talk. I hate small talk, especially with strange old men.
After about five minutes of this, the old man asks if he can borrow my hose to spray off his dog because there's no telling where that waters been. So get this, he brings Moses over to the hose and proceeds to rinse him off next to the dry car. And by next to the dry car I mean his about six inches away. He gets the entire side of the car wet again and then Moses shakes. I'm frozen in shock as this occurs.
I immediately get the towel to begin drying the car off again. I figure the old man will realize what he did and apologize. No, he doesn't. He watches me towel off the car completely unaware. What. The. Hell?
"I don't mean to offend you, but did your husband buy this car for you?"
Augh.
"I hope it's ok that Moses eats some of your grass over here; it seems to help his digestive system. Not all grass, just some grass and you've got some of that grass in your yard."
I'm ignoring him now as I put away the hose, bucket and towels.
"Do you like jokes? Can you remember jokes? I know a lot of dog jokes if you'd like to hear some of them?"
I tell him I don't have time and scurry inside.
"Tell your dog Moses didn't invade his space. He just ate some grass."
ramblings by Whitey on 10:38 AM115980518108031150 Whatcha talkin' bout?
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01 October
Smells Like A New Car
The Mini is awesome! I finally got to pick it up Wednesday and have spent the past few days motoring around town. Best. Car. Ever.
I'd like to prolong the first scratch and door ding as possible, so as any new car owner would, I make it a point to park way, way away from other cars. Seriously it's like a small hike from my car to the store front. And inevitably there is always someone parked right next to me. There are 30 empty spaces on either side of the car, yet some ass has parked right next to me.
ramblings by Whitey on 10:20 PM115980312041472172 Whatcha talkin' bout?
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