What do you need church shoes for? Jesus wore sandals.

Well, maybe if he'd had better arch support, they wouldn't have caught him.

13 November

Legion of Boom

The Crystal Method rocks. Last Thursday they hit the Varsity in a Red Cross benefit concert and I was there sans glow sticks.

This may come as a shock to you but big B.R. is not the hub of techno music. So strange events in the universe must have occurred to bring CM into town. There's never been a large following of techno here. And by large following I mean none. I think I'm the only one. Ever.

Turns out the Burner is a fan of CM and Snadam likes all music so they were in from the start. And surprisingly Rog opted to attend as well. We made our way in as the first of 3 guest DJs got started. The first DJ, let's call her DJ Lady totally rocked but her set was only 20 minutes. Then DJ Lame took the stage. DJ Lame was very lame. Next came DJ Crotch Stuffer.

Seriously, this guy must stuff his pants or had an erection the whole night. He kinda reminded me of a metro Ricky Martin. Er...wait. What am I saying? Ricky Martin is the king of metro. OK, so DJ Crotch Stuffer is a metro, but also looked like an asshole. I do have the ability to determine if someone is an asshole completely based on looks. What can I say, it's another hidden talent. But crotch stuffing aside, his set was hit or miss. There were a couple of good songs but then there were some truly awful ones.

Finally Crystal Method took over. They played a lot of music, but not their music. They played 4 of their songs. That's it. The show was still awesome, but would have been better with more Crystal Method songs.

I loved how everybody in the audience kept to themselves. There weren't any pesky guys harassing you during the show - well, until the end - but more on that later. I attribute the live and let live attitude do the the fact that everyone there was high or really high. Maybe the world would be a better place if everyone was high all the time. If I ever enter the Miss America pageant I'll make this my platform. World peace can be achieved if everyone gets high and stays high.

Snadam and the Burner bailed around 12:30am and Rog left shortly after 1am. I, however, decided to stay. Again need I mention how often techno groups show up in BR? I remained unbothered and harassed free until the Jamaican Rastfarian noticed me. Well, I do have that alabaster skin the entire world wants. Even though I hate people, I try to be polite to random men making conversation in a bar over loud dance music.

JR: You come here alone.
Me: No.

Dancing continues.

JR: You here with your boyfriend.
Me: Yes.

Dancing continues.

JR: Where is he?
Me: In the bathroom.

OK people, it is necessary to lie when creepy Jamaican Rastfarian won't leave you alone.

Still dancing several minutes later.

JR: Your boyfriend has been gone a long time, where is he?
Me: Bathroom then the bar.
JR: Un huh.

So he wasn't as high as I thought he was. My new plan of evasion was a simple one, I waited til he was distracted then I hide from him. This plan worked much better than the polite lying.

Close to 2am, they started playing non-techno music. In fact I think the music selected was meant to drive all the techno fans out of the bar - AC/DC. It worked on me, I left.

I brought extra money with me to the show so I could buy all kinds of crap, like t-shirts and cds. But the only crap sold was I Heart NO shirts.

ramblings by Whitey on 10:04 PM
113198779581048654
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14 November

Blame it on the rain

I can't flush the toilet...when it rains. And by can't flush the toilet, I mean don't flush it or prepare for a massive overflow. Lovely.

You might recall last year I spent around $700 to have a part of my sewer line repaired. Instead of getting a new floor installed, I paid for a plumber to dig around in sewage filth, fix the broken concrete pipe, reinstall the guest toilet and teach me about sewer roaches. I was gleeful at spending $700 instead of the $2000 quoted to remove and install a new sewer line. Something has gone horribly wrong, again, with my plumbing - plumbing of the house, not my intestines.

I should clarify that it's only during the perfect storm when flushing can't occur. You know the type of downpour which floods the yard and all the street gutters & drains. One of those storms swept thru Sunday afternoon/evening. It rained hard for several hours. So much rain fell I had to don appropriate drain cleaning gear [rubber boots, rain coat, hat & rake] to remove muck from the three, count them three, drain in my yard. The leaf and stick debris clogged all three drains so that my entire front & back yard was flooded.

I suspected a plumbing problem a few months ago during another large storm, then again during Rita's visit. I was weary of flushing the other night but decided to gamble. I lost.

I tried not to flush during the storm, in fact, I tried not to go to the bathroom during the storm. This idea only works in theory, because as soon as you tell your body no, it says yes. I supposed flushing wasn't required, it could have waited, but isn't that why society is modern - flushing toilets. My house, not so modern anymore. This. Old. House. Or maybe it could become This. Old. Outhouse.

After the ill advised flush, came the overflow and inevitable freak out. However, because of last year's repeated toilet incidents, I'm well equipped to handle any and all overflow emergencies. People this is why we have bleach.

Dad's got a theory about the sewer line and yard divets. We'll test his theory and do some sewer digging next week after Thanksgiving.

Never has there been a more appropriate time to wish the rain away.

ramblings by Whitey on 9:31 PM
113208278044806046
Whatcha talkin' bout? []