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22 May
May Obi-Wan Be With Me
Unlike Lutey, Snadam, & the Captain, I'm not a Star Wars geek...not that there's anything wrong with that. They all caught the midnight showing several days ago, I went to see it yesterday. And I think I was technically on a date when I saw it, but that's a story for another blog.
As you've probably heard already, the movie rocks. Have you also heard Pinocchio played the part of Anakin Skywalker? Yes, it's true - a wooden boy was one of the stars of the movie. I read yesterday that Hayden beat Leonardo Dicaprio and Ryan Phillipe for the part. So the key to winning this part was not showing any emotion? Does George live in an alternate universe?
George: Ok, Leonardo that was one of the worst auditions I've ever seen. You actually look and sound angry. This is not the direction my movie needs. If you want emotion, go perform Shakespeare.
Best part of the movie, Obi-Wan. He wasn't hot in the other two movies - I think it was the beard and short hair. Or maybe it was his smack down of Anakin.
Whatever the reason, Obi-Wan is my new movie boyfriend.
ramblings by Whitey on 9:17 PM111707582734822835 Whatcha talkin' bout?
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23 May
Fight the ick
Yesterday the ick hit in the middle of my strength workout. It was so bad I couldn't even finish the last few reps of my set. And after forty minutes of exercise, I came home and fell asleep. Normally it would be impossible for me to sleep after any sort of workout becuase the heart is still pumping. The ick stayed with me today as I traversed the city trying to get answers on the road noise coming from my tires. Three separate tire stores gave me three different answers.
My regular tire guys suggest I get new tires. It's important to note the tires are only 2 years old with 20k miles. The term they used to describe the noise is chopped - ie defective tires. The Goodyear warranty tire guy blamed my regular tire guy for the chop and said my tire warranty was invalid because of their mis-rotation of the tires. However he assure me the way he rotated the tires would get rid of the chop in 3 weeks, or maybe 6 weeks, or maybe 2,000 miles past my regular rotation time, or eventually the chop will even out. Um, ok? Eventually? Vague, very vague.
I shared this tidbit with my regular tire guy, who proclaimed the Goodyear guy a moron. He also said he's never heard of chop evening out with any type of rotation.
I stopped at a third tire place for an independent opinion, which was maybe. Maybe it will the new rotation will work, maybe it won't.
Shouldn't new tires on a new vehicle last more than 20,000 miles? I think so. Isn't that why people buy new vehicles? No worry about tires for several year. I got 55,000 miles from the original tires on my Ford - it took 4 years to need new ones. So I think I can get 4 years from the Jeep.
So now I've got to contact the national Goodyear company and raise hell, after the ick leaves.
ramblings by Whitey on 10:50 PM111707689430704404 Whatcha talkin' bout?
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25 May
Cut man wanted, no experience needed - bring q-tips
The lingering effects of the ick are still with me, so no karate tonight. No karate means feeling guilty. I always feel guilty when I miss, even if it's for a good reason.
I volunteered to tape The Contender for the guys at work since a) they were in boxing class b) they don't own vcrs. And because I know you're wondering how will they watch the tape if they don't have a vcr, one of their girlfriends has one, but refused to tape the show. Anyway, since the cable fiasco months ago, I can tape any channel but can't watch another program. I've only caught a few episodes of this packaged boxing show. I like the boxing but hate the schmaltz. I don't need to see the boxer and his family before a fight or how he's fighting for his family. Barf! Just show the beatings and the blood.
I'm not sure when or why, but boxing has become a new hobby for me. And by a new hobby I mean watching the matches not particpating in them - just in case you were confused.
Digital cable provides me the ability to watch boxing every single day. ESPN has Tuesday and Friday night fights. Showtime and HBO have regular weekend matches, which if you miss, are replied five hundred fifty five thousand times the next week. Classic ESPN replays classic matches during the week and Fox Sports carries several local matches.
I've quickly amassed a list of favorite boxers, learned the lingo, can properly commentate and score a round. I've decided to quit my job and go to work for a boxer. I could be an assistant trainer, or a cut man. Yes, a cut man. I want to be responsible for stopping a cut from bleeding. From what I've seen all I need is some large q-tips, gauze and a foul mouth. Done.
It might sound a bit messy, but I'd get to travel, watch boxing all the time and wear latex gloves while I work. Plus I'd always have a fancy, shiny satin outfit to wear at the office. Oh and my shiny satin outfit would probably have multiple Spanish words on the front and back.
ramblings by Whitey on 10:08 PM111707882930308073 Whatcha talkin' bout?
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26 May
Woo Me?
The pheromones are running amok in karate class. Apparently all the sweating and yelling turns the guys on...to me. Surprised? So am I.
I've tried to figure what what the hell I'm doing in class that attracts the men. Granted there's not a lot of single women at the school, but let's be honest, I'm no prize. So after much thought, I've compiled a list of what makes me more attractive than the other single women in class.
1) I've got all my teeth 2) I bathe at least once a day 3) finger and toe nails are well-groomed
- this is all I've got, but it's seems to be enough. It's sad really. After reading this list I wonder who's more pathetic, me or the guys? Nothing turns a man on like a full set of mostly white teeth.
Anyway, one fellow, let's call him Oompa Loompa, has been subtly putting the moves on me. His main choice of contact is e-mail. This is my first wooing via the internet. Yes, personal communication at its finest.
It's possible OL and I technically went out on a date Saturday afternoon. He bought tickets to the movie, but lead me to believe "he had a friend who had tickets but couldn't user them." And there was supposed to be a group of people going to the movie with us, there was no group. He tried to buy me drink before the show, but that really makes it a date, so I got water.
Was this a date?
ramblings by Whitey on 10:18 PM111725329365537150 Whatcha talkin' bout?
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27 May
The First Friday Five
Instead of my own boring topic, I present the Friday Five.
1. What was your favorite breakfast cereal when you were a kid?
I'm gonna go with King Vitamin (pre removal of sugar). Fruit Loops runs a close second.
2. What is the best toy/prize you ever got in a box of cereal or because of sending in UPC’s?
I never sent in UPCs from cereal, but send some in from a box of pop-tarts. I got a video-cassette tape of Paula Poundstone's pop-tart comedy.
3. How do you take your eggs (scrambled, over easy, egg beaters)?
I don't eat eggs. I'm anti-eggs.
4. What is your favorite breakfast meat (bacon, ham, sausage)?
Seriously, have you ever read my poem "My Three Favorite Foods?" The first word is bacon.
Dance tongue dance, you will not be denied
For nothing is better than bacon when fried
5. What is your favorite spot (local or chain restaurant) for breakfast and where is it located?
Any open I-Hop.
ramblings by Whitey on 11:08 PM111725446357377843 Whatcha talkin' bout?
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28 May
Butts and burn
It seems that the alarm clock does work early on the weekend. I'm not pleased with this discovery, but it's good to know. Normally I don't even think about getting out of bed until after 10am, but I made plans to go riding with OL and BBC.
The weather was perfect this morning and in the early afternoon, but I should have worn sunscreen on my arms. Currently I'm sporting crawfish red arms from wrist until about mid-bicep. Lovely.
Today was spent riding slow and around back roads since OL is a brand new rider. And by brand new I mean his bike is three weeks old and he received his endorsement this past Thursday.
After running a few errands for the others, we stopped for breakfast at I-Hop, where the Captain and M'Cha Cha were also dining. After breakfast I suggested a ride to Freds on the River. It's a short ride, down a curvy rode to the river. Since neither OL or BBC had no idea how to get there, I lead the group to Fred's. And by lead I mean I missed the turn by 5 miles. Sigh. BBC managed to find the road I missed.
After a mere four hours of riding, my butt is sore. Actually it's my tailbone. My seat does this weird up-turn that rubs on my tailbone. If I keep the bike, I'll have to get another seat. I've been told by other riders the seat is too soft.
What kind of world is this where a soft seat hurts your butt?
ramblings by Whitey on 9:16 PM111733470325701664 Whatcha talkin' bout?
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30 May
Sam Walton is a crack dealer
In the past year, Wal-Mart has become my new hobby. I'm in the store so often, it should count as a hobby. But it's really more of an addiction than a hobby. And I'm blaming Dr. Atkins for this addiction.
In a effort to follow his famous diet, I ditched my usual eating habits for the carb free lifestyle. Breakfast was the easiest transistor to make. Gone was my usual breakfast of pop-tarts, cinn rolls, powdered donuts, etc and in was the EAS Advantage Carb Bar. This is the best carb bar sold - twenty grams of protein and only three carbs per bar - and the most expensive. At $1.67 a bar, it costs more than any other sold. OK, so it's not that much for one bar, but multiple that times seven equals $11.69.
Since I only get paid once a month, I could not bring myself to purchase more than seven bars at a time. Yes, it's silly. Whether I buy thirty bars or seven bars once a week, it's still the same amount of money at the end of the month. As hard as I try, I just couldn't spring for more than seven bars at a time. Thus, I need to make weekly trips to Wal-Mart. Once a week, really isn't that bad, especially since I do most of my grocery, pet and non-food items shopping there.
A few months ago, the Wal-Mart closet to the house (Ghetto Mart), quit carrying my beloved bars. So I ventured out to the O'Neil Wal-Mart to stock up. I tried to do all of my shopping at the OW-M, but because of it's distance, it's not always practical to visit. There were weeks when I'd do all of my shopping at GM and make a special trip later to OW-M, until they quit carrying my bars.
Two weeks ago I visited three different Wal-Marts in six days. I bought my regular goods at GM, stopped a the new College Drive Wal-Mart to check for bars - none. So then I hit the very first super Wal-Mart in town sicken. Jackpot! I forced myself to buy out their supply of EAS bars.
I don't understand why all the stores don't carry the same items. Ghetto Mart does not sell the brand of dog food Fritter eats, so I visit the College Drive one on my lunch breaks once a month. And because prices are so cheap at any Wal-Mart, I can't buy some items elsewhere. Example: Purina Complete Nutriton dog food twenty-two pounds is $8.67. Pet Smart charges over $11.00. Alberston's is closer to $13.00. I can not force myself to spend extra when I know the great and mighty Wal-Mart has it for less.
Would you willing purchase toilet paper at Albertson's for $4.87 when Wal-Mart sells it for $2.84? I won't. If you add up the difference on all your groceries during one trip, you've got money for more beer.
Isn't this the way to becoming rich? Or is it the path to pinching pennies?
ramblings by Whitey on 8:13 PM111750491408794326 Whatcha talkin' bout?
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31 May
Golden Glow
I've been flaunting my new tan line at work. Apparently I'm the only one who can see this new tan of mine. It runs from my fingertips to my mid-arm, right about where a t-shirt would end. Also, if I move my watch ever so slightly, you can see the subtle change in skin tone.
Ok, so it might not qualify as a true tan, but there is difference in the skin color on my arms. It used to be stark, ghastly white. Now it's only ghastly white. Although you may look at my pasty white skin and think there's a burn waiting to happen. I do tan. I get that from my Dad, along with my sweet tooth.
Growing up I had what my mother called golden skin. Now I have what I can translucent skin. For the past few weeks, I've been working on my tan. Allow me to define working on: wearing a tank-top while cutting the grass and laying out at the Y pool for exactly 1 hour. Look out, 1 whole hour. But I need to take this tanning thing slow because my skin hasn't had sun exposure in years. And besides I can't just lay around in a beach chair doing nothing for an hour. It was a struggle for me to make the entire hour.
I tried reading for a bit, but that got old after 10 minutes. The annoying kids [aren't they all annoying] splashing in the pool kept distracting me. So then I tried people watching, except all the normal people were sleeping in their chairs while the kids splashed. Next I tried to sleep, but it was too hot. There was a quick dip in the pool to cool off. This time I tried sleeping on my stomach. I was even less successful with this. The kids around me kept screaming about a bee and since I couldn't see said bee, I'd have to get up and scan for the bee. I will not lay quietly while a bee lands on me.
My color goal is to move from pale to ivory. It's pathetic when a goal is ivory. Most of the known world shoots for bronze. Me, I'm aiming for ivory.
ramblings by Whitey on 10:00 PM111772815032127689 Whatcha talkin' bout?
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