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07 January
Burn Free
Drinks this evening with The Group plus the burner. I managed to survive an entire evening without getting burned. "How," you ask. Simple, there were 5 bodies between the burner, her cigarette and my skin/clothing.
Good times.
ramblings by Whitey on 10:47 PM110547687388071216 Whatcha talkin' bout?
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09 January
Christmas is over
I finally managed to take down the Christmas tree and decorations today. I would have left it up longer, but the tree was looking crispy.
I learned an important lesson several years ago when removing a tree. Don't try to vacuum the needles; sweep them up. I filled two vacuum cleaner bags with that little mistake. Sweep first, then vacuum the remaining. Visit this site for more helpful cleaning tips. I usually give a useful tip about once a year.
Cherish that tip because that's it for another year.
ramblings by Whitey on 8:51 PM110598478184760667 Whatcha talkin' bout?
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11 January
Fritter - Crime Fighter
Fritter has an array of barks at her disposal. There's the cat's waiting at the door bark. There's the mailman is here bark. She's also got two barks when people approach the house, the far away bark and the someone's walking up the driveway bark. She launched into the someone's close bark tonight about 11.
I peaked out of the kitchen window only to see a big, white truck stopped in front of my house. I watched as the truck slowly moved up the street. I went to the utility room window to watch where it was headed. It pulled into the driveway of my neighbor who lives across the street. The driver proceeded to just sit in the truck. Strange.
About this point I'm starting to find this whole event suspicious. The neighbor across the street is a little old lady. It's 11 o'clock at night, all of her lights are out. The big white truck is pimped out with rims and lights. I happen to know none of her family members drive pimped out trucks. And none of them stop by at 11 pm and just sit in the driveway.
After about 2 minutes the driver gets out and starts walking towards my house. My first thought is he wants to pick up the Christmas tree out of the trash. It's not the first time someone has taken junk from my trash, but as he walks closer, he moves past the tree and out of my sight.
I go back into the kitchen to look for him. I figure he's checking out the Jeep or the motorcycle, but I don't see him. I go back to the utility room; I can't see him anymore.
So I hook Fritter up to the leash and head outside. When I make it out to the middle of the driveway, the he was in the middle of the street, saw me and started walking back to his truck. He backed out of the driveway opposite to the way he pulled in. Basically he backed out so I couldn't see his license plate. Then the drove all the way down the street, backwards. About 10 houses down he turned around and drove off.
I waited around for a few minutes to see if he would return, then went in and called the police. Three units arrived at my house 5 minutes later. Three units? Must be a slow day in the neighborhood. After I told my story, the short cop told me another unit had stopped a truck that fit my description up the street; turns out he was stealing bicycles. Although I don't have a bicycle, my neighbor, owner of LBD, had a bicycle under her carport. I can only assume he was making his way thru my yard to grab her bike.
My little crime fighting dog saved her bike. I think we're even for my old, rotten pine tree falling in her yard.
ramblings by Whitey on 11:30 PM110598670580467915 Whatcha talkin' bout?
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12 January
Big Wig Blow Out
We've been preparing for a visit from the biggest, big wig for the past several weeks. We were told to memorize numbers, charts, & graphs. We were told to practice our presentations. We were told, make sure you know the answer to every possible question. Um, ok, sure.
We had meetings to discuss what we would discuss with the big wig. We had meetings to discuss what we wouldn't discuss with the big wig. We had meetings to discuss our numbers, our presentations, our choice of attire, our questions and the breakfast items that would be served. We had meetings to discuss how the pictures would be hung, who would buy said breakfast items and who would make the coffee.
We were given statistics, from other departments, to memorize...just in case a question was asked about a different department. Example: Let's say I work in the shoe department. I only know shoes. The big wig asks a question about tires. Although I only know shoes, I better be able to answer the tire question. Um, ok, sure. BTW, I don't work in a shoe department, but it does sound exciting, which is why I used it as an example.
After all of the preparation leading up to the big wig visit, he spent 2 minutes in my department. After introductions were made, I guess that left 1 minute and 30 seconds of presentation. BTW, there was no presentation.
He didn't need a summary of what my department does, he already knew. He asked a few questions, made a few jokes, shook my hand and was gone. And of the questions he did ask, I knew the answer to without studying or memorizing. I'm good like that or I just know what goes on in my department. Shoes rule. Did you know you can spell the word shoes on a calculator?
After big wig left, we got to eat the remaining breakfast items. I think that was the best part of the day. Free breakfast.
ramblings by Whitey on 8:32 PM110598838222101532 Whatcha talkin' bout?
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14 January
Sassy Vampire Hair
I enjoyed a lovely day off today courtesy of burning a vacation day in order to earn more. I've got another day coming to me this month, but there's always some reason I can't take the second day and lose another 8 plus hours.
I made the most of my free day with a mid-morning haircut. Yes, I know, I live it up. Woo-hoo! I need to slow down. After my usual sassy Sharon Stone cut, I noticed the weirdness in the back. My stylist neglected to trim or evenly trim the bottom half inch of hair in the back. Looks like it comes to a point in the back. I've dubbed it the vampire's peak.
Just what every girl wants, a sassy vampire's peak.
ramblings by Whitey on 7:53 PM110628365564216454 Whatcha talkin' bout?
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23 January
Fur coats and selflessness
I found this e-mai to a friend detailing one on my recent birthdays, thought I'd share my fun with the world...enjoy.
As usual, it was a gala event.
Here's the highlights- the dj was a hit, but the band seemed to get everyone's attention from that little stunt they pulled. I decided to wear my blue sequined evening gown rather than the
strapless red one. The blue one just screamed birthday girl and you know how I love to wear a formal!
In a repeat of last year's bash, the Embassy Suite's Grand Ball Room wasn't big enough for the party. Next year I'm definitely moving it to a bigger place; I will not have my guests dancing in
the hallways where the uninvited gather to watch. With a crowd this size you can imagine security was a nightmare, but they always seem manage. This year I decided to split my time between dates, you know of course I can't reveal their names because of their high profile status, but let's just say they each have great attributes.
The majority of guests followed my wishes and made a donation to their favorite charity rather than bring more useless gifts. I am constantly amazed by the size of my heart. It's just proves once again how selfless and caring I am.
It's such a shame you couldn't make it to the party, especially since I sent those first class, round trip tickets along with the hotel accommodations. Would you be so kind as to donate those to a charity in your area, since I noticed you haven't made a contribution yet to any of your "so called charities." Do you have some sort of issue with giving to the less fortunate? Because the masses at my gala event didn't. California life has changed you. You probably voted for Bush in election. What has become of your integrity?
But enough about you and your heartless nature, I bought myself a late birthday present. It's a fur coat made of unborn baby seal fur.
Life is good.
ramblings by Whitey on 9:37 PM110727646060442469 Whatcha talkin' bout?
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24 January
Projectile vomiting
Muffin is the least talked about member of the house and there's good reason for that, she's doesn't do much. If possible, she does even less than the dog, but Fritter is entertaining in so many ways. Muffin just seems to throw up hairballs on a regular basis.
Twice this week she's managed to climb atop the bar stool, hack for 10 seconds, then spew cat food, water and fur everywhere. She has christened the bar stool it's her puke perch. Once on top it's only a matter of time before she blows.
No matter how fast I run from the other room I can never make it to the kitchen it time to prevent a massive biohazzard spill. And while I spend 20 minutes cleaning up her mess, she bathes.
With all the time she spends outside, why can't she hurl outdoors? Before Christmas, Muffin discovered the joy of the dog door. Since then she spends all of the day and most of the night outside, but she saves the vomit just for me. That's her special gift to me.
ramblings by Whitey on 8:42 PM110735648011184384 Whatcha talkin' bout?
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28 January
I've got a stalker
Finally after years of waiting and wanting, I've got my very own stalker. However, I never expected to be a 3 year old girl.
Lutey and I decided to cram before our big test tomorrow. I figured practicing at Lutey's house would be ideal because Fritter would annoy us throughout the evening. Little did I know that 3 year old girls are could be way more annoying than dogs.
She seemed so innocent at first. She only wanted to showed me her room. Then she showed me her ballerina moves. Then she started yelling.
Lil Lutey: Miss whitey, miss whitey, miss whitey, miss whitey, miss whitey
She continued to yell at me until I spoke to her. So I'd acknowledge her, then resume karate activities with Lutey. Then she'd start yelling again, louder and louder until I stopped to talk with her.
Lutey diverted Lil Lutey with a cartoon in the vcr, this bought us about 10 minutes. Next LL wanted to do karate with me. So I showed LL some simple moves she repeated over and over, until it was time to yell again. Lutey did her mommie magic and calmed her down.
After we finished reviewing our material, LL morphed into a complete stalker. She invaded my personal space with uncontrollable Vincent Price like laughing. Then she'd run around the room and start laughing again.
At one point she jumped on my lap and demanded to be tickled, so I did. After which she'd leap off, run around the room and demand to be tickled. If I didn't tickle her, she'd start yelling, no screaming "tickle me, tickle me, I said tickle me." Nothing would stop her from screaming unless I tickled her, so I'd tickle her to quiet her down. This exercise went on for about 15 minutes until it was time for me to go.
ramblings by Whitey on 10:27 PM110788878875942176 Whatcha talkin' bout?
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29 January
Testing Termoil
I had this wonderfully written post all about today's test and dinner after, then blogger ate it. I'll try to recreate it, but the wonder is missing.
I hate testing. Even though I've suffered through eight previous testing days, I still get nervous. The key to doing well during a test is not to overthink, just perform. I just need to do, not think. I've practiced the same techniques for 6 months and am very capable of performing them in class. But put me in front of the testing board and my brain melts.
Lutey put it best last night with this statement: "I'm less prepared than I've even been and I'm also less nervous than ever before." Yes.
I can safely speak for the entire group of red belts when I say we sucked at basics. Again, the brain got in the way. Twenty-five minutes of butchered kicks, uncontrollable hand movements and incapacitating combinations. We worked out our nervousness when it came time to forms, but the damage was done...to our ego. The first half of our test just felt bad.
The breaking technique for my rank is a running, jump round kick. I can't run or jump because of my knee, so it was supposed to be just a round kick. I couldn't even manage to break the board. I'm not sure if my other knee effected my kick or not. Instead they let me break using a hand technique. Personally I find it very disappointing not to break a board with my intended technique.
Later that night, a group of students met at On The Border to celebrate Karate Jim's promotion to E-dan (2nd degree black belt). I've officially added OTB to restaurants I boycott. The service was slow, the food was terrible and waitress was a ditz.
It took close to 30 minutes for our drinks to arrive. The restaurant was packed, but how long does it take to pour a few beers and some frozen Margaritas? My order was not prepared as asked; the waitress ignored us for the better part of an hour, after I our food was delivered. Then she lost a credit card receipt and tried to blame the table for her mistake.
I'm always the first one to send food back if it's wrong, however I decided to suck it up and try to eat my meal as it was prepared...with avocado and onions. I ordered my meal without such items, but the kitchen had other plans. I decided to bring my leftovers, which was most of meal, to Fritter. Since I paid for it, I figure someone should enjoy it, even if it's the dog. When I tried giving the leftovers to her, she refused it eat any of it. This is a sign of the apocalypse. Have I mentioned Fritter drinks out of the toilet?
So toilet water is preferable to food from OTB? Yes.
ramblings by Whitey on 11:28 PM110805283872923547 Whatcha talkin' bout?
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31 January
ASAP
Last week, THE WOMAN informed me, several individuals were anxiously waiting my analysis on an in-house system. Make it your number one priority; get it done as soon as possible - she said.
For 3 days I only worked on this document. Co-workers gave me much needed feedback, edited and proofed it for me. Finally, Wednesday afternoon I finished my analysis and was ready for her to approve the completed version. You see, I can't submit a document on any topic to anyone without her approval. This policy applies to e-mails, in-house memos, and even post-it notes. Ok, so lied about the post-it notes, but you get the idea, micro-management. I use the term management loosely.
At 3pm I asked if she had 5 minutes to look over my document so I could send it out. Her response, via her assistant was, not now - maybe later. Then I asked if she could read it before the end of the day. Her response: we'll see, but I'm not making any promises. As expected, she called me 5 minutes after I should have left. When I make it to her office, she informs me she doesn't have time to read my document, but will do so tonight, at home. She just doesn't have the time right now or in the immediate future. At least I can send it out first thing in the morning, right? No, she's got a funeral to attend and won't be in until mid-afternoon the following day. She'll let me know then if my analysis is ok..
Here's the really stupid part to this scenario, she wouldn't know if I was making up stuff in this document or not. Other than proofing for errors, which she claims she can't do anyway, why does she need so much time with this doc? Why? -because she can.
The following day, I wait to hear from her concerning this very important document that everyone is waiting for. Nothing. I go to her office around 4pm, to check on the status of my paper. She was just reading it, for this first time when I walked into the room. Sigh. Less than 30 seconds later, I've was given the go ahead to send it to 1 person for review before I send it out to the group.
It's now Monday and I've received zero feedback on this report. Yes, let's make this our number one priority so it can sit in someone's in box for days. Today, she asked for another document, a supporting document to the original. How fast can I get that done?
ramblings by Whitey on 8:27 PM110805477473406217 Whatcha talkin' bout?
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